Results tagged ‘ humor ’

Beach Ball Brutality and Other Preventable Tragedies: Another Very Special Post from TIAVSG

It’s late June and I have now attended enough baseball games at the Big A and other stadiums to see that the desperate need for another Very Special Post at TIAVSG is becoming increasingly clear. This time our serious and important message concerns none other than your friend and mine, the beach ball.

Each year thousands of innocent beach balls are emotionally traumatized, physically crippled for life or worse in tragic baseball stadium incidents. The truly heartbreaking part of this terrible situation is that with only a little education, it’s so very preventable. Beach balls are fun loving, lively creatures that love nothing more than a shared good time with close human companions, but they also have a crippling fear of loud, noisy crowds, so finding the appropriate setting to enjoy quality time with your beach ball is key.

Forget the inconvenience to me as fan, what with this annoying beach ball blocking my view of the game, because this isn’t about me. It’s about this poor abused beach ball and the trauma it endures at the ball park. April 22, 2012, Angels vs. Orioles. Photo by This is a very simple game…

Beaches, swimming pools and public parks are all excellent places for beach balls to grow up happy and well adjusted with plenty of room to bounce around free. Major League Baseball stadiums, however, are nothing short of a house of horrors for our boingy friends. Beaten and bashed around, moving ever farther from their rightful owners, being spiked from great heights, and eventually landing on the field in front of an entire crowd of angry, accusing eyes and loudly booing mouths?? It’s more than a beach ball can take, let me tell you, and few if any ever recover from the trauma. Most require immediate deflation at the hands of kindly security guards and understanding baseball fans to put them out of their misery.

This poor beach ball never hurt anyone in its life and now it is destined for a compassionate deflation and all because its uninformed owners didn’t know enough to leave it at home. Please, help stop the madness!! June 12, 2012, Angels at Dodgers. Photo by This is a very simple game…

But fortunately, there is still hope for our lighthearted and light bodied friend, the beach ball. Yes, that’s right, together we can help stop the madness and allow beach balls everywhere to lead out happy fulfilling lives by simply leaving them at home when we go to the ballgame. Yes, that’s right. All you have to do is leave them at home. The beach ball euthanasia anguished security guards will thank you, your pro beach ball rights section mates will thank you and, most importantly, your beach balls will thank you!

And, while we’re on the subject of Very Special Post topics, I have another dire public safety issue to bring to your attention, namely that all too innocently-monikered baseball stadium menace, the wave. Please read the following important JumboTron public service announcement brought to us by the safety minded front office staff of the Texas Rangers.

Thank you very much to the Texas Rangers Front Office for this life saving JumboTron PSA. Image from the ESPN article at http://espn.go.com/espn/page2/index?id=6816167

Normally, I would never cite any Texas Rangers information on this Angels blog, but as you can see from the above, the wave is so detrimental to our well being as baseball fans, that it demands a triconta-partisan effort to eradicate this menace. I don’t know what more I can add to the Rangers already highly informative PSA other than my own passionate pleas: Please, I implore you, stop and think before you wave. If you can’t restrain yourself from rising in unison from your seats to wave your arms in everyone’s face, and from peer pressuring others into doing the same, for the sake of the baseball players you are supposed to be rooting for but have now effectively told you don’t give two flying figs about the outcome of the game; if you can’t do it for the sake of all of the money you and those around you spent on their tickets to enjoy the game; if you can’t do it for the health of your own joints and muscles then, please, do it for the children.

Little do these poor uninformed people know that they are risking their own health and that of everyone around them. Remember, friends don’t let friends do the wave!! June 2, 2012, Angels vs. Rangers. Photo by This is a very simple game…

Thank you very much for your time today. This has been another TIAVSG Very Special Post. I now return you to your regularly scheduled baseball blogs programming. Go Angels!

Time for the Mad Sosh’s Lineup Card Party to Wind Down

I was going to bite my tongue and just post my photos from Sunday’s Fan Fest and ensuing disappointing game. I was going to refrain from ranting and just see how things worked out for a little while longer, really I was. And then, this evening. Yuck!!! …only, I didn’t say yuck.

< rant >

Yes, Ervin Santana gave up five runs, four of them solo homeruns. Yes, the team was facing David Price. But five runs should not be an insurmountable deficit, especially with these bats in the lineup. The offense needs to find their swings, find their chemistry and start producing and, although it’s only April, they need to do it quickly before we fall too much farther in the hole. But one thing that would seriously help is a having a set lineup.

Look, I love Mike Scioscia and am absolutely not part of the crowd calling for his head, but the another day, another lineup thing has got to stop. 15 different lineups in the first 17 games is Lewis Carroll levels of ridiculous without any of Lewis Carroll’s awesomeness to me…hence my rusty attempts at cartooning. (Be kind. This is the first time I’ve put pencil to drawing pad with any greater cartooning intent than amusing my niece and nephew in years. *nervous giggle*)

Think about it, 15 lineups and none of them have worked? How do we really know that? I mean, did they really not work, or did they just not work that day? Because expecting to be able to assess a lineup accurately after just one game is kind of like going speed dating and expecting a marriage proposal from someone by the end of the evening. And if all Scioscia is trying to do is find a lineup that produces, why didn’t he stick with any of the lineups he used in games the Angels won? Clearly I’m not a baseball manager, but does this make sense to anyone?

We have pitchers with radically different styles and, apparently, way more depth than is good for us. I understand this. So if Scioscia can’t come up with just one lineup to stick with – and I do get that – than how about one lineup for fly ball pitchers and one lineup for ground ball pitchers or something like that? Restricting the crazy lineup roulette to two or three in some sort of regular rotation would surely be an improvement.

Again, I have no delusions of grandeur that I am some sort of baseball managing genius but certain things just seem obvious, especially after a few games. Albert Pujols should not be DHing, at least not this year, next year or any year so long as keeps making those outrageous defensive plays. Good God damn, that man can move. Young guys like Howie Kendrick, Erick Aybar and Peter Bourjos, who have a set position they aren’t experimenting with or trying out for should not sit out a game to “rest” unless there are legitimate reasons they need to rest and by that I mean illness and injuries. And they should have a static position in the lineup to go with their regular playtime. Howie was hitting! He was hitting a ton. Then he sat out a day and now he’s not hitting anymore. Yes, he should do his best to maintain his own rhythm but shouldn’t the lineup support him in this endeavor?

Also, Mark Trumbo needs to be in the lineup as often as possible, and Kendrys Morales needs to be in it more often than not. And leave Torii Hunter in right. Yes, I realize that doesn’t leave a whole lot of wiggle room. Scioscia is left with flopping Trumbo, Maicer Izturis and Alberto Callaspo at third; Trumbo and Vernon Wells in left; and Kendrys and Bobby Abreu at DH, because let’s be honest here, neither of them should be playing anywhere on the field right now. But he doesn’t need a whole lot of wiggle room with only two or three lineups on a regular schedule, now does he?

</ rant >

Am I sure the Angels will turn it around eventually? Absolutely. Am I sure it will happen in enough time to matter? Not completely, no. Especially not with the rate at which Texas is tearing through the opposition. I’m not giving up by any means – Hello, it’s April! – but something needs to change and fast…seriously guys. Don’t make me turn this blog around and start cartooning again. ;)

And, while we’re at it, Torii and Vernon (Because, yes, of course the Angels read this blog. Why do you ask? ;)), quit messing with Peter Bourjos’ walk. I don’t know for certain that that is what’s messing with his swing, but something sure is so you might as well cool it just in case.

Okay. Now </ rant >

The Angels’ Opening Day Went to 11! Let’s Concentrate on that…

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead! True story. – Words to live by from the immortal Barney Stinson

So games 2 and 3 of the Angels opening series didn’t go exactly the way we had planned…or, you know, anything remotely like we had planned. Opening Night was pretty darned awesome! And more of an indication, I think, of what the season will be like than a pair of extremely early season games where, while this was not the only issue, two ace quality, workhorse pitchers were working through a bit of the old dead arm.

So, the morals of this weekend are:

  1. Don’t be sad, be awesome instead – and this goes triply for the fans.
  2. Dead arms and early season fielding jitters will pass of their own accord, as will some of the plate issues. And even with those plate issues, the offense already looks better than that of the last two years. But, even so, let’s stop swinging a) for the fences and b) at stupid pitches.
  3. Relax and just play your game.
  4. Clearly Seth and I need to be at these games. I mean, hello? They won when we were in the stands. (Of course, I am completely joking about that last point. Of course. *whistles innocently* But if say, anyone extra superstitious in a position to just happen to let a pair of season tickets fall off a truck and into my hot little hands felt the need to take me seriously, who would I be to say no? And I would like to state, for the record yet completely apropos of nothing of course, that said theoretical tickets would not have to be Diamond Club, or anything fancy like that. Quite the contrary, we would be perfectly happy continuing to root, root, root for the home team from mere mortals’ seats, so long as they’re in decent camera range. ;))

Opening Day. Opening Day lit halo. Looks pretty darned awesome to me! Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

*relieved sigh* Well, that’s out of the way. Now let’s all concentrate on the sheer Angels awesomeness we are sure to see sooner rather than later this month. And, to get you into that frame of mind, I give you a visual recap of the complete awesomeness that was Opening Day…and if you think I have used variants on the word awesome a few too many times in this post, I ask you, what would Barney Stinson say to you? Uh huh. Thought so. ;):

Opening Days tend to have the same ingredients MLB-wide – the giant flag covering the outfield, the local military color guard, the players from both teams lining the base paths as their names are called, the military flyover and the VIPs throwing out the first pitch. But that certainly is not to say that every Opening Day is the same, or that these details aren’t special. In fact, the universality of this format is part of what makes it special, lending the affair a ceremonial, special occasion air like a wedding or a graduation. And, much like the parties involved in those examples, each team manages to make the details their own:

Mike Scioscia and Howie Kendrick shake hands as they Angels take their places along the third base line for the pre-game festivities. Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

The color guard. The giant flag. The Angels lined up at attention. Ah, Opening Day! Darned if I don't tear up a little every time. In the line you can see C.J. Wilson, Dan Haren and Alberto Callaspo aming others. Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

The photo I took of the actual first pitch was blurry, which is okay because I like what this one says a little more. Angels 2002 greats Troy Percival, Tim Salmon and David Eckstein embrace before throwing out the first pitch to their coaches (and Dodgers 1988 greats!) Mike Scioscia, Alfredo Griffen and Mickey Hatcher. Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

The energy from the crowd was absolutely unreal. I have been to Opening Days before and I have been to well attended games before, but this was something completely different. And while I am sure that many in the stands were brand new Angels fans, brought to the stadium by the hype and excitement of the Angels well publicized off season acquisitions, I’m not going to join in the griping about that. I say, welcome. Come join us. Get to know the team and stick around for the seasons to come. However the rankings fallout by season’s end, this is going to be fun!

The crowd was unbelievable, sold out and packed to the gills. Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

And it was standing room only on the concourse. Too cool! Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

So, the game itself. Just how good was the game? It was so good that I was hoarse until evening on Saturday. So good that I kept thinking Saturday was Sunday. No joke. That first regular season ballpark experience of the year was so much fun and excitement packed into one game that it seemed to me like it must be an entire Saturday, not just a Friday night. And here are a few of the reasons why:

Jered Weaver, 'nuff said. Well, okay. I might as well add 10 strikeouts, 0 walks and a mere 4 hits in 8 shutout innings. Well, this is the "Awesome" post after all! Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

Albert Pujols just misses pulling off the out on an errant throw from 3rd base. I cannot praise Pujols' defense enough. As for Mark Trumbo's defense at 3rd? Okay, so three errors in his first two games is not exactly a pretty start. But remember how much we were bitching about him at first in the opening weeks of 2011? And then he got a lot better and was pretty darned good by the end of the season? After watching the guy last year I can see that when things aren't working out, he works harder, often with success. I say give him the month of April, because the potential upshot from his bat is so great, and if we don't see some improvement and promise, then you can resume screaming bloody murder. Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

Okay fine, Jered Weaver decides he'll get his own outs - Howie Kendrick gets the pickoff throw and makes the tag in the 7th. Jeff Francour, you're out! Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

Kendrys Morales decided to bat leftie on his third trip to the plate, and set off what would become a 5-run rally. I cannot tell you how happy I am to have this man back in the line up. Go Bam Bam go! Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

Erick Aybar takes a sassy lead off third base after his bases clearing triple in the 8th inning. I wish I knew what he was saying to the Royals...though I imagine this was one of those times that is the reason we will never mic players. :) Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

Peter Bourjos had a great night, knocking in the first run, sliding in just ahead of the tage to score the 4th run and making a few great plays in the outfield. This is just a between innings warm up photo, but I think that I got his game face. Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

And, just because this is my blog, here’s some silliness too:

Meeting on the mound in the 7th inning. Whatever they're saying, Mark Trumbo appears to be telling the Royals dugout, "Ooooooo. You guys are in trou-ble." Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

And the Kiss Cam hijinks continue into 2012...as opposing team members MLB wide either make plans to stand well apart during this particular ritual or to ham it up for laughs and applause. Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

Okay, I have never tried to catch the butt pat on film, but you'd think that with the number of butt pats in baseball I would have wound up with a picture of one before this...I mean I've certainly erased enough photos of players doing other things I never intended to capture on camera. Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

Check out the height difference between Eric Hosmer and Alexi Amarista – this shot cracked me up. Now, what he lacks in height, Amarista more than makes up for with his glove, speed, agility and, in the future, I believe with his bat as well. This is one of the kids I am excited to watch come in to his own over the next few seasons. Angels vs. Royals, April 6, 2012, Opening Day. Photo by This is a very simple game...

And if that isn’t enough awesome to get you in the right frame of mind for the next few series, just wait. The Angels will get you there eventually. I’m sure of it.

Angels Opening Day Checklist: Don’t Leave Home Without…

The Angels Opening Day is finally here and I can barely contain my own excitement! In just a few…well…in just a few too many hours for my taste, I’ll be at the game. Still, hours. We’re down to hours! Isn’t that exciting? However, it is important to remember that attending Opening Day, or any other ballgame for that matter, is much like any other festive, celebratory occasion: in your excitement it’s all too easy to forget the darndest of things. But, with a little thought and preparation you can avoid any potentially disastrous forgetfulness and ensure your complete ballgame enjoyment.

Submitted for your entertainment, here is my helpful Angels Opening Day checklist. Did you remember to bring:

1. Tickets!

Because you can’t get into the ballpark without tickets, right? Yeah, I know. Ticketmaster, Stubhub and the like all have numbers you can call in a pinch in you lose your tickets. But, as someone who once had their Nine Inch Nails ticket swiped in the ladies room in between the Queens of the Stone Age set and the main event, I can tell you that as fast as they really do try to rectify these situations and get you back in your seat, standing in customer service with the feeling that you’re missing the first song, first pitch, etc. is not fun. Yeah. These babies went into my purse seconds after I snapped the photo. I recommend confirming possession of said tickets before you start the car to head for the stadium.

2. Cash…probably kind of a lot, actually.

This is one of those not so fun parts of the game. But ‘buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks’ is an indelible part of Take Me Out to the Ballgame, after all. Not to mention the hot dogs. The tasty, tasty, overpriced beverages. The parking… Need I go on? And I don’t know about other ballparks, but paying with a credit card or ATM always seems to take three times as long, so cash is king.

3. Ball Caps

They protect your face from the sun and when the sun goes down, they protect your head from the cold. They shade your eyes from the glare – all the better to see the game with, my dears. They proclaim your team pride across the stadium in even the largest of crowds. Don’t leave home without them.

4. Fan appropriate attire

Okay, maybe this isn’t exactly difficult to remember if you leave for the game from your home, wearing it all already. But, like so many of us, I am forever dashing off to the game after work, so Day to Night Barbie’s got nothin’ on me. (The reference came from a coworker actually. I left the conference room we were working in wearing a business suit and returned in jeans and an Angels jersey to collect my computer and go. ‘What are you?’ she laughed. ‘Day to Night Barbie?’) And until I figure out that Wonder Woman ‘spin and spin and spin until *poof* your outfit completely changes including perfectly coordinated shoes, jewelry and makeup’ maneuver, I’m going to add ‘remember every piece of your fan appropriate attire’ to the list. Because forgetting my sneakers and going to the ballpark in jeans, jersey and 3.5 inch heels was not exactly my finest moment.

5. Camera

Because if you want to capture some of those great game memories permanently, whether on the field or of yourselves in the stands, you’re going to need a camera. Now, you will note that my case contains considerably more than just the camera – two extra batteries, two extra memory cards and various charging accoutrements, to be precise. What can I say? I’ve been married to an Eagle Scout for going on 13 years and that always be prepared thing? It’s so not just a slogan and, after a few years and numerous demonstrations of it’s usefulness as a philosophy, it rubs off on a person. Running out the battery during a game sucks. So does finding out that the card is full of of pics from a friend’s wedding that you can’t erase yet…or that you left it in the computer. *whistles* So, if you like to take more than just a few random photos, I suggest embracing your inner Eagle Scout – provided the real deal isn’t handy. ;)

6+. The backpack o’ many things…

…o’ many things, including:
1. One jacket for each party in colors that either coordinate with your team or, at the very least, do not coorninate with the colors of the opposing team (unless you have the same colors).
2. A few snacks that don’t require as much of the aforementioned cash. In our case, this is typically a bag of salt and pepper pistachios.
3. Team swag of the useful variety – blankets, warm hats and the like.
4. Team swag of the rally variety. Oh yes, there will be Angels Luchador masks! Regardless of what security says when you enter, they have yet to take them away from us in a moment of rally necessity.
5. Ponchos. Yes, ponchos. Remember what I said about the Eagle Scout thing? Cheap Target ponchos weigh nothing, fit easily in one pocket of the pack and will become your favorite thing in the entire world if one of those infamous April showers catches you in the stands.

And there you have it – check, check and double check – the Opening Day checklist. One additional thing that would be on my list if I could guarantee that my ability to check it off would be anything better than shakey? Managing to calm my excitement enough to get actual work done this morning and afternoon because I have a metric f-ton of work to do before the game. (It’s roughly 204 pounds larger than your standard imperial f-ton, don’t cha know?) Oh well. I’m going to run and try to make more progress on that last one and then, Play Ball!

A Little Excitement Before the Regular Season Begins

So, everyone’s getting really excited about the first Regular Season games starting in just a few hours, right? I mean, we’re all getting up extra early, with elaborate brunch, beer and calling in late to work plans so we can watch the games, right? *crickets* Yeah, that about sums it up. While I like the idea of exhibition games in Japan and other countries, I think that having the Mariners and A’s play two regular season games there is just ho hum. The timing will always be awkward, both in terms of fitting the games into the Regular Season calendar and in terms of the games themselves taking place at a time when the teams’ U.S. fans can easily watch. For this reason, I doubt MLB will ever get teams that are predicted to contend to participate and so what we’re left with is just blah. Two games stuck in a weird sort of baseball limbo. They count towards the regular season record, so they’re not quite exhibition games. But most folks aren’t paying any attention and the games are occurring completely outside the Regular Season calendar, well before the official Opening Day on April 4th, so it’s almost as if they aren’t really Regular Season games either, leaving me for one wondering, Why bother? 

I’ll tell you what is exciting though, Magic Johnson buying the Dodgers. Ding Dong, the McCourts are gone. The wicked McCourts are gone! Yes, I root for the Halo’d ones down in Anaheim, but I’m an L.A. girl raised going to games in Chavez Ravine by a Dodger lovin’ family. As long as we aren’t specifically in the middle of a Freeway Series, I will always have a soft spot for the boys in blue. Besides, I like to think that baseball fans everywhere were rooting for the Dodgers to come out on top of all this – Come on Giants fan cousins of mine, you know you were rooting for them too…come on. Hey. That’s not the gesture you really want to be making. Seriously, knock that off right now or I’m telling your mom. See, that’s much better. Don’t you feel better now? Ummm…never mind. ;)

Anyway, moving right along…Magic Johnson is a shrewd businessman who has managed to create businesses that are simultaneously good for the community, good for local sports and entertainment, and also profitable. And for those of you who don’t have a lot of experience with business and politics in L.A., trust me, that’s no easy feat. Plus, Magic Johnson has been an L.A. guy by choice since his retirement. I see him as the kind of owner who will cultivate a good team on the field (and it’s not like he doesn’t have plenty of good players to work with already), while pleasing fans and leaving the important traditions intact. At least, this is what I hope will happen…even though I still hope they lose every single Freeway Series game. Hey, Dodgers soft spot, Angels heart. My goodwill is extensive, but not boundless. ;)

Which brings me to news even more exciting than that: Kendrys is hitting over .600 since his Spring Training debut and continues to see regular playing time, and I saw my first lit Halo of 2012 driving through Anaheim the other night. Okay, so it’s only a lit exhibition Halo, but still. Lit. Halo! The Regular Season – the real Regular Season – is so close I can taste it!

The Halo on the Big A shines into the March 2012 evening, announcing a Spring Training victory! Yes, I took this photo through the none too clean windshield of our moving vehicle. No, I wasn't the one driving. ;) Photo by This is a Very Simple Game...

A Loony Musical Interlude in between Angels Spring Training Matchups

So, LeAnne Rimes has this song…

Yes, sometimes I like my country a little pop-py. Don’t judge me. ;)

Ahem. So LeAnne Rimes has this song called Big Deal. It’s a catchy little tune about a young lady who dumped a guy a while back and, while she’s 99.999…% over him at this point, she’s still plenty miffed that her best friend has started dating him and won’t shut up about how amazing he is. So the young lady is encouraging her friend, perfectly politely of course, to adopt a more tactful topic of conversation…right now.

Anyway, last night Seth and I watched the Giants/Rangers game. Ho Hum. But nothing else was on. Certainly not the Kendrys Morales batting cleanup behind Albert Pujols because Kendrys is looking that good game that I actually wanted to be watching even though it’s only a Spring Training game but couldn’t be watching because none of the stupid networks were airing it…*pauses to take a deep breath…finally*…not that I’m bitter about it or anything even though he hit a home run. *pauses to breathe again* ;) And we capped it off with the Rangers edition of 30 Clubs in 30 Days.

Mike Napoli was heavily featured in this MLBN preseason rundown, naturally, and, also naturally, we kept watching because we both like the guy. He was a great Angel and one of those players you wish all the best…just much, much further away than Texas in an ideal world. It was enjoyable and yet not so enjoyable at the same time and, as Dan Plesac and the Rangers began laying on the Napoli accolades thicker and thicker I was eventually moved to begin singing LeAnn’s catchy ditty: Yeah, you call yourself a friend, but you just keep rubbing it in. Big Deal. So what!…

Seth began cracking up almost immediately and took up the refrain: Who cares! You just got lucky that’s all. It was. Shut up! I swear…

But here we paused and looked at each other giggling, unsure of how to go on because the “candle light and long stem roses nd how you’re falling head over heels, in love…”of the next line, unlike its predecessors, hardly fit Mike Napoli and the Rangers.

Seth: If I hear another word about…?

Me: If I hear another word about…?

Seth: If I hear another word about…?

Ah hah! Inspiration. Me: …about catching right and grand slam home runs and…and…

Seth, grinning: and…? And…and World Series MVP! So what. Big deal! 

And by that point we were both laughing too hard to extemporize any further…and to follow the thread of the rest of the analysis truth be told. Anyway, we both thought we were pretty darned funny…perhaps the Friday night wine ritual helped that sentiment along a bit, but it still seemed worth sharing, especially this weekend. With Rangers/Angels match ups both today and tomorrow, I am sure the Napoli trade and his stellar 2011 season couples with the Angels anemic 2011 offense will be rehashed ad nauseum along with both teams’ offseason acquisition exploits.

Besides, the song, both the original lyrics and our little reworking of them, fits my feelings on the situation perfectly. I’m over the Mike Napoli trade. I am. I didn’t want him traded away, but it’s not like fans have any choice in the matter, and it’s not like he played like this for the Angels anyway. (And don’t bring up playing time. He actually had significantly more playing time for the Angels in 2010 than he did for the Rangers in 2011. The whole playing time thing is a myth.) Don’t get me wrong, last season was painful in bold 48 pt. font italic all caps covered in sparkles, just for good measure…awful, Twilight Vampirey sparkles. *shudders*

…But trading Mathis and acquiring a catcher that seems capable of hitting above the Mendoza line has helped a lot. Retooling the offense has helped even more. I’m absolutely not saying, ‘Who needs Mike Napoli?’ But I am saying, it’s over and done with. I have moved on. I really like the team we have now and I am at peace with the whole trade ick. But, much like the main subject of LeAnn’s song, that doesn’t mean I will ever enjoy hearing the announcers, the press and everyone else go on and on. And on. And on about the whole thing.

Of Angelic Offenses, Hot Corners, Video Games and Towels: More Spring Training Thoughts

Holy Angels Lineup, Batman! They hit! They steal! They knock in runs! And they score and score and score again! I am so happy with the Angels offense right now that I am beaming as I type this. I hope this carries over into the regular season and grows! It sure looks Albert Pujols was the missing piece this lineup puzzle needed because all of the good pieces we had going last season are now working in conjunction with one another to create multiple, multiple run innings instead of little tiny offensive outbursts. They look almost as good as the starting rotation – and that ‘almost’ reflects more on the high bar set by the starting rotation than anything else. Speaking of which, I’ll bet that as pleased as the fans are, the run support starved starting rotation is even more so.

That sticky third base question…seems to be a lot less sticky than folks were predicting actually. We have now seen Mark Trumbo play third base and it worked out pretty darned well. He played the grounders hit his way well, including one that took a nasty hop. He made a great diving catch. In all of the discussion about the possibility of Trumbo at third, his arm was never once in doubt…even so, it was really nice to see that this assessment was accurate. And he did all of this while enjoying a good day at the plate which included his first Trumbomb of Spring Training. It’s only Spring Training. It was a very small sample size. But I actually think this could work. The stats and logic behind Clubhouse Confidential’s much more dire predictions a few weeks back did seem to make an unfortunate amount of sense. But people had the same predictions for Trumbo at first base last season with the same logic and, while he was certainly no Gold Glover, he turned out to be a competent, reliable first baseman who kept improving all season. I was hoping he would demonstrate the same caliber as a third baseman and, after watching him, I think that’s exactly what we can expect.

Those crazy MLB video game commercials. MLB 2K12? MLB 12 the Show? Which is better? I certainly couldn’t say. I don’t play video games much and when I do I tend to gravitate back to something old school like Gauntlet or Heretic. But I do know that the commercials for both MLB video game franchises are usually something special and this year is no exception. Justin Verlander’s Randy Johnson impersonation in the MLB 2K12 commercial has me laughing out loud every time. It almost makes up for his attempts at comedy on Conan O’Brien. As for the other? Granted, it’s not that hard to make me cry these days, but a video game commercial? ‘Fraid so. That darned Cubs Win! MLB 12 the Show commercial actually made me tear up…er…makes me tear up. He’s just so sad at the end! (Of course, we all know who they tried to get to be in that commercial and that’s just plain mean.) Suffice to say, both ads were very well done.

Don’t forget your towel. According to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a towel is “about the most massively useful” item you can bring on any journey, local, interstellar, or somewhere in between. Apparently David Price agrees to disagree with the vaunted Guide on this front. Don’t panic, David, you are not alone. Many of us suffer bizarre abuse at the hands of seemingly innocuous inanimate objects. I have a friend who threw out her back showing her daughter how to put on nylons. I have another friend who received a scar from a Rock Band guitar pretty much just as she was just walking by – we refer to this as her Rock Band stage diving scar, by the way. And there’s a good tip for you. If you can’t somehow make the inanimate object injury sound less silly, go for making it sound epic instead.

As for me? Doors are my personal bete noir. Car doors. House doors. Cupboard doors. Heck, even door jams. They all attack me and bruise my arms and legs on a regular basis. See, you are far from alone. Though I must admit, it is nice for the rest of us to be reminded yet again that even Major League baseball players can suffer from occasional bouts of klutziness too…and that that the rest of us only have to answer to the mockery of our friends and family, not the national media. Of course, as a woman, attending a small liberal arts college and having the only honest answer to “Where on Earth did you get that bruise?” be, “I ran into a door.” was more than a little awkward too, as you might imagine.

Five Things the Passionate Baseball Fan Should Appreciate About the Super Bowl

Personally, I am not a football fan. I don’t actively dislike football so much as it just fails to hold my attention for any length of time. I understand the rules and some of the basic strategies. I enjoy the pomp and circumstance of the Super Bowl, all the more so on those occasions, like today, when it’s actually a good game. But, well, it’s not like I would even know who was playing well in advance if it weren’t for the fact that my boss is from Boston with all of the fan affiliations that that entails and some of the guys at work are Giants fans. Still, watching the game today at my department’s annual Super Bowl party, it occurred to me that love it, hate it or something in between, there are several things the passionate baseball fan should appreciate about the Super Bowl.

1) Whether you are also a rabid football fan or someone like me who can take it or leave it, I think all passionate baseball fans can agree that single best thing about the Super Bowl is that it means our long winter ordeal is almost over, pitchers and catchers are mere days away from reporting. Oh, sure. Fine. There is the game itself and all that, you more rabid two and three sport types say. But ask yourself this, how often is the game really that good? Personally I remember a lot more dull one-sided exhibition-y affairs than I do real, exciting games. So I stand by my number one, thank you very much. Which brings me to…

2) More often than not, the Super Bowl is one of the more potent reminders of how much we should appreciate baseball’s lack of a clock. Let’s hear it for no “now stall for the next 8 minutes until the clock runs out” strategy. Hip. Hip. Hooray!! Because as fun and complex strategy laden as the 1st half of the Super Bowl often is, the 4th quarter, and sometimes much of the 2nd half, is just as often dull and plodding with the game’s outcome already decided. Clearly this year’s Super Bowl did not suffer from a ho hum 4th quarter, however this is not always or even often the case.

3) The food! Baseball is a marathon not a sprint, as every manager and most of the players will tell us countless times throughout the season and the spreads we put out for enjoying the game reflect this. No way, no how could we indulge in the wonderfully glutinous array of tastiness that is the traditional Super Bowl spread for every game of a four to seven game World Series, let alone for the regular season. We’d die from the sheer excess of it all. So baseball fans should appreciate and enjoy the ritual of the Super Bowl super munchies for the rare opportunity that it is.

4) Practice, practice, practice. I don’t know about you all, but I put my throat through a serious workout during the regular baseball season. Yelling. Cheering. Ranting at the tv. It can be tough on the unprepared body. This is probably not an issue for the multisport fans among us but it’s not like I really indulge in these activities in the offseason. I mean, seriously, “All right Bohannan! Way to bad ass your way out of the that one.” or “Come on Chef Freitag, can’t you see he respected the ingredient?!” just doesn’t really work for me. So the Super Bowl is kind of like that initial work out preparing my throat for the Spring Training that will fully prepare it for the regular season to come.

5) Camaraderie! Again, this is probably not as much an issue for some of you who are multi-sport fans. But for those of us who only or who mostly come alive for baseball, it’s not just missing the season, it’s missing the camaraderie of sharing the game with friends, with family, with complete strangers at the ballpark, at the sports bar, tailgating in the parking lot. The Super Bowl is one great big excuse to enjoy a little tide me over sports fueled camaraderie until the regular baseball season begins with a huge party…even if a lot of the participants are only watching for the commercials. My department throws an especially fun Super Bowl party and, wow, that really hit the spot for me today.

Now, the Super Bowl is over. Let the happy dancing in honor of the close proximity of the annual reporting of pitchers and their masked counterparts commence. One. Two. Oh, come on. You know you’re going to do it. Three. Uh huh. I thought so. ;)

Angels, Pujols, Kendrys, Trumbo + Other Brain Percolations from the Last Several Days

The Angels are on the tip of everyone’s tongue these days and it’s an awful lot of fun! Ever since that wild and crazy Albert Pujols/C.J. Wilson double deal day, the Angels, usually only an occasional mention at this point in the offseason, are in the thick of every discussion on MLBN, ESPN, west coast sports radio and the like about the best rosters, lineups, rotations, etc. in baseball. In truth a lot of these discussions are vehement denials that the Angels have the best anything but, hey, it’s just nice to warrant being in the discussions this far out from the season. And it’s exciting that so many existing Angels players are getting their just praise in the middle of these discussions along with the well deserved praise for the feats of our newest acquisitions.

However, while I enjoy all the talk, it is just talk at this point and ultimately meaningless except as a diversion from the fact that there is no actual baseball on. While it is the job of the analysts and sports writers to speculate about best teams in baseball early and often, I just can’t. Not until baseballs have been pitched, hit, thrown and caught with regular season intentions for a good month or so, and certainly not this far back in December when even Spring Training is but a glimmer on the horizon. All I know at this point is that my team looks darned competitive so far and that makes me one happy fan and even more eager for the season to begin. Thank you Arte and Jerry!!

Yes, I took this is basically a photo of my TV - Here they are, Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson, your newest Angels!

Trumbo and Kendrys Morales

The Angels tendered the injured Kendrys Morales, proving they are not ready to give up on him yet. The chatter about moving Mark Trumbo to third also seems to be increasing in more official sounding ways. I am highly in favor of both experiments. I think it’ relatively inexpensive to give Kendrys one more season to see if he able to return to anything like his former playing ability. Foot injuries suck, no lie. I tore my arch more than a decade ago and the thing still gives me a fair bit of pain from time to time and I’m not trying to play professional sports on it. So I’m not holding my breath that he will come back in any more than a DH capacity anytime in the next season or so, if he comes back at all. But the possibility of having Bam Bam back in the lineup in any capacity is worth another season’s experimentation.

As for Trumbo, he’s young. He’s cheap. He swings a hell of a bat. He’s team spirited and practical and willing to bust his ass to learn new positions. Remember, we drafted Trumbo as a pitcher. Then made him a corner outfielder when it looked like he was a blown out arm waiting to happen. Then made him a first baseman after Kendrys was injured and now it’s over to the hot corner. And every time he’s said sure thing Coach, busted out his glove and his notebook and practiced, practiced, practiced. And did I mentioned he swings a hell of a bat? I expect some growing pains at third throughout this experiment, but I think that the experiment is a worthwhile one.

One More Press Conference Thought

Over the last several seasons it has amused me to no end to watch MLBN and ESPN analyst after analyst call Jered Weaver, Jeff…sometimes realizing their error a short time later and correcting it…sometimes continuing to make the error. Apparently even millions of dollars can’t cure the curse of being a same initialed younger sibling. In fact, this offseason I have noticed a tendency to just refer to him as Weaver. I imagine a memo came down from on high saying that, now that Weaver the Elder has retired and there is but one of them still in the game, it’s just plain safer. Vin Scully is guilty of this as well, but I don’t think any memos will fix that. That’s akin to the teacher who had your older brother or sister first. It’s never going to change.

So, during the press conference when Albert Pujols began talking about his new teammates, you had to know what was about to happen…and sure enough it did. ‘…and with such a great pitching rotation with Danny Haren and Jeff Weaver…Jeff…Weav…Oh Mahn! I’m so sorry Mahn! I mean with Weaver…’ Albert never did actually say Jered. Apparently he agrees with that memo, sight unseen. Stick to the last name, it’s easier.

The Trevor Cahill Trade

I am not in the Billy Beane is a frickin’genius camp, nor am I in the Billy Beane is a frickin’ idiot camp. He’s a GM with a “surefire” method for beating the house at cards that, like most surefire methods, sometimes works out pretty darned well, occasionally very well indeed and, more often than not, doesn’t work out at all. Not so different from every other GM out there, really, except that his method has Hollywood publicity. Oh, and then there is the A’s dismal payroll to contend with but that is also not a unique problem in baseball.

Trading ace Trevor Cahill five entire years before free agency for a potential-ace-in-a-few-years and a couple of nothing-special-as-of-yet minor leaguers was certainly one of those head scratcher moves. I’ve heard a lot of speculation about the reasoning behind this deal. But tell me, am I the only one that thinks it’s less about the A’s current payroll and more about their desire to move to San Jose? An exaggerated, in your face, “this is what you’ve reduced us to” statement sure to garner enough attention that maybe, just maybe Selig will stop holding them in limbo and get the deal done already? Yes, I did spend my adolescence reading a lot of novels about intrigue, conspiracies and Machiavellian politics. Why do you ask? ;)

Angels of Catan, a Holiday Induced Hot Stove Mash Up

Once we got the house put back to rights after Thanksgiving, Seth and I spent most of the weekend playing strategy games with headlines on MLBN and Bloomberg playing in the background…as you do, when you’re a couple of geeks who have decided that all of the responsible chores you had planned for the long weekend just really don’t sound appealing. So instead of plastering and painting the bathroom, we played a lot of Settlers of Catan among other things.

Oh, hey look. Blue won! ;) Settlers of Catan, November 2011. Photo by This is a very simple game...

For those of you who’ve never heard of it, Settlers of Catan is a continually variable resources management game. Think of it as Sid Meier’s Civilization unplugged. You shuffle the tiles and their numerical dice role assignments that make up the playing board at the beginning of every game, so rarely are any two games the same. Your goal is to get enough resources to build cities and other things that are worth points, oh and to keep your buddy from doing so. But in order to do this you have to trade with your buddy a lot because there is always a key resource or two you can’t access on your own.

Hey Kristen, this is highly entertaining and all. Sounds like another fun game. But isn’t this supposed to be, oh, I don’t know, a baseball blog? Oh. You again. Hey, I brought it back around to baseball the last time I went on a strategy game tangent. Just work with me for a minute here. I’m getting to that part!

So, as I was saying. *glares over her shoulder at the peanut gallery* There we were playing Catan. Making trades. Listening to MLBN and hearing about trades though nothing earth shattering. And, well, my brain tends to make weird connections between completely disparate things.

You’re telling me! Quiet, you.

Ahem. All the trading just started to seem hilariously parallel, especially the AA and AAA outfielders I’ve never heard of that some teams seem to be stockpiling. In Catan, if you’ve pissed off your buddy so much by thwarting him that he won’t trade with you (or you’re close to winning which we refer to as being “Cuba”) you have an option of stockpiling 4 of some useless resource and trading it “off the island” with the deck for one of something you actually need. So, how many no name minor league outfielders does it take to build a major league closer? Or a clutch hitting third basemen? Or anyone we would actually like to hear about…and by we, I mean I because, well, I’m baseball news selfish like that. But more than lightbulb-esque jokes about minor league players, my strange baseball/Settlers of Catan juxtaposition lead to an oddly accurate illustration of the Angels current player situation.

See, it totally relates. Well, it’s about bloody time!!

Here it is, presented for your gaming pleasure, just in time for the holidays, Major League Baseball Players of Catan: The Angels Expansion! Hey, they have every other theme and expansion under the sun for Catan, why not? Anyway, looking at my goofy creation and the board the Angels have been clearly playing with for the last couple of seasons, I think the problem is readily apparent, don’t you?:

This is the way our board looks? Now it all makes sense! MLB Players of Catan, Angels Expansion, November 2011. Concept, artwork and photo by This is a very simple game...

I mean if my dice roll options for hitting looked like that, you better bet I’d shuffle up the game board at the nearest opportunity. Strong starting pitching options with a few holes. Good and bad bullpen options based, seemingly, on a roll of the dice. Good fielding and throwing. Some speed. Some strong hitting for average but also some really poor hitting for average and almost no power hitting at all. I keep hearing all kinds of trade and signing rumors about the Angels, as we all do about our teams this time of year, but nothing that I like at all so far.

Catan, for real or as an illustration of the relative talents of Angels personnel, is all about balance and trying hard to compensate for lack of balance when it invariably occurs. Only rarely is pumping up one strength to the neglect of some or all of the others a good strategy. There is no shooting the moon, in baseball or in Catan. And, let’s be honest here, even teams with a lot of money still don’t have infinite money. Balance and prioritization are essential.

I do not want C.J. Wilson, one of the more consistent rumors. Not only do I not like the fact that the converted reliever slowed down earlier this season than last, but I think that it would be throwing entirely too much money at something that is already mostly a strength. We have a hole and a half, if you will, in our starting rotation. But we only have one power bat in our lineup…unless Vernon Wells and Kendrys Morales come back in typical shape, but notice I’m not counting on that. I might have liked the David Ortiz rumor. Say what you will about the Fenway toybox, he always kills it in Anaheim, unlike Vernon Wells which probably should have been a clue, but I digress… But we have such a glut of big contract lame duck bats, at least going by 2011’s numbers, in the DH spot that I can’t see a way for the team to get rid of so, really, what’s the point?

So far, the rumor I like the most is Aramis Ramirez, but that one isn’t perfect either even when you ignore his fits of bad attitude for the sake of argument. More power at third base would be really nice. Really, really nice. But people forget that Alberto Callaspo may not be flashy but he hit consistently for average all season long, our highest batting average in 2011 in fact. And while I would like some power, if we replace Callaspo, we would then need to make up his batting average somewhere else in the lineup somehow. How about a power hitting catcher…or, even, an average hitting catcher? Clearly the slumping bats need to step it up big time or be replaced. But is that possible? It’s a puzzle. A Catan worthy puzzle. Mike Scioscia has said he likes playing Civilzation. I wonder if Jerry Dipoto likes resources management strategy games? Because like it or not, he’s got a pretty tricky one ahead of him.

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