I Just Want to Be Mad for a While…

My husband and I started dating back in 1996. This July we will have been married for 13 years, a number which makes me feel both swoony and kind of old at the same time…but mostly swoony because, well, he’s wonderful and infinitely swoon-worthy. :) Anyway, the point of that is merely to say that when it comes to long term relationships, I do have a clue or two what I am talking about and I have to say that a fair bit of the “standard” relationship advice people give is actually pretty bad advice…at least as far as I’m concerned.

Take the whole “never go to bed angry” thing. When interpreted broadly as “don’t let things simmer and fester,” this is excellent advice. But taken literally? I think not. Sometimes the exact opposite is a better course of action. You both have to go to work in the morning. Work is essential for money with which to support your 99.999999% of the time blissful union. In other words, not staying up arguing it out, growing more tired, grumpy and probably petty by the moment and then carrying that over into work the next day is really better for you. Instead, I would advise that if an argument can’t be fixed right away, give each other some down time. Go to sleep a little angry and see how much better things look in the morning. (And they will if for no other reason than actually going to bed mad at someone you love sucks so bad that it tends to put problems in perspective.) Then continue the discussion after work, when the emotion has drained away and it can just be a discussion…

…which brings me to the Angels. I am angry. After the blown save? And then the other blown save? Oh, yeah, and the other blown save? And the just now, maybe waking up offense? And the one run losses? Yeah, on second thought, livid is probably a better word. And the Angels are apparently angry too – did you catch Torii’s coments to the media earlier this week? Well, good. With the way they’re playing they should be angry. Now, being angry doesn’t mean I don’t love my Angels. Far from it. If I didn’t love them, this couldn’t provoke such a response. But angry I am and this isn’t getting resolved any time soon, so…

Gentlemen, you have two day games this weekend and it just so happens that I have gone out of town for the weekend with plans to bike, explore, take photos and generally be nowhere near a television set, computer, radio or other means of catching those day games. Sounds like the perfect opportunity to stew apart and gain perspective…or, as I like to call it, two games in the win column. Let’s try to give Danny and Ervin each a win, shall we, and the rest of you some hits and then when you get back to California this anger we’re feeling will have resolved itself and we can all get back to the 99.9999% of the time part of the relationship.

Sound good? Great! See you at the ballpark in a few days.

3 Comments

I don’t blame you for being mad, or down-right p’oed. I’m not too happy with the Tigers, either, but at least I don’t get drunk and and start a fight with racial slurs..
Great advice on relationships, too. I’m sending this to my ex….Congrats to you and your husband, though!!!
–Mike

I had to run and look up what you were referencing Mike. Didn’t get that news in Cambria, but yikes! Not how a human being should act and certainly not what the Tigers needed. But it sounds like he’s genuinely contrite and that’s a start. Thank you!! Though I don’t know about sending it to your ex, LOL.

– Kristen

Pingback: Has the Argument Blown Over? + Bobby Abreu, Mike Trout and Angels Closers « This is a very simple game…

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